Sooner Or Later
by jwootan02
Summary: A scorned Bulla travels in time after her mother's death and her father's destroyed heart collapses her world. In search of what was so great about her father's past that he mumbles about Freiza in his sleep, Bulla is in for an eye opening glimpse at her father's teenage years. *Previously published under another alias.


**Chapter One**

November 12, 774

My mother died today.

For once, I don't feel like I have so much to say in here. I guess I just thought, what with my dad being an all-powerful alien prince, that I had seen it all.

Maybe I should be looking back at the good times. She'd want me to remember that she loved me and all that.

I don't know. I just can't. Not now. Not yet.

xx

November 13, 774

When I look in the mirror, I see her looking back at me.

xx

November 15, 774

Why?

xx

November 18, 774

Trunks won't talk to me. He's taken over Mom's business completely now. It's all he does. And I can't even really be upset with him since it's exactly what Mom used to do: lose track of herself in her work. She was always so dedicated. She was so strong.

Why can't I be that strong?

xx

November 19, 774

I wish Daddy would come out of the Gravity Room.

I didn't think I'd lose both parents.

xx

November 20, 774

Goten came by today. It meant a lot to me. I've been kinda lonely lately.

His mom is sick. She has been for a while. It probably took a lot for Goten to be willing to leave her side to come to mine. It was so sweet... But I couldn't keep him from his mom like that. I tried to pull myself together while he was here, but I sent him back home quickly. I hope he's not mad at me now. He's my best friend.

xx

November 21, 774

Goten came back today. I was really surprised.

I'm also really scared. I hope he doesn't know how badly I need him.

Or anybody else, really.

I sent him away again - this time because I wanted to talk to Daddy.

Daddy let me in the GR. But he didn't talk to me.

He keeps mumbling.

It's kinda scaring me too.

I can only hear a few words. (I think some aren't even in English, to be honest.)

He says things like, "Saiyans" and "Frieza" and "hurt." I think I heard him say, "before the woman" once.

I'm worried he's talking about Mom, but I don't really understand.

xx

November 23, 774

It's Thanksgiving.

Ha.

xx

November 24, 774

I don't bother hiding when I cry anymore. It's not like there's anyone around to see it. Trunks hasn't come home in at least a week. I've started setting food outside the GR hoping that Daddy might eat something. If what I sense from his energy is right, he never leaves that room. I wonder if it's hard like this for Goten and Gohan? They might still have their mom, but only barely. And their dad left them of his free will.

I can't imagine what that feels like.

xx

November 28, 774

Trunks came home.

He didn't talk to me.

I wonder if he thinks it's okay to leave a 13 year old to live in a mansion alone for weeks at a time?

In fact, I'm getting kinda tired of both Trunks and Daddy. I get that they're mourning... But I need to mourn too! And they just left me. What would Mom think if she saw them now? How much honor does it take for men to abandon those who love them when they need them most? I'm sick of Saiyan men and their stupid Saiyan honor.

I need to cool off.

xx

November 30, 774

Yesterday, I decided to help Daddy.

I visited him in the GR and brought him food.

He mumbled at me about a "Nappa" and a "rejuvenation tank" and yelled at me not to touch his tail. He's lost strength. He must not be training at all.

I'm going to start visiting him every day.

I think we both need it.

xx

December 1, 774

Trunks hugged me today.

Then he walked away and I cried in the kitchen without him.

xx

December 4, 774

Daddy's been making a little progress with me.

He says whole sentences sometimes. Like, "Not now, I need to train" and "What does the scouter say?" He doesn't respond to what I say. I'm not even sure he knows I'm in the room to be honest. He said, "Where's my woman?" over and over and over and over.

I ran away from my own Daddy.

I wish Mom was here.

xx

December 5, 774

Mom, why did you go? Why did you leave us behind? We're a total mess without you. Trunks has only come home twice since you left. Daddy is losing his mind!

Mommy, I'm scared.

I'm scared and I'm so alone.

Why, Mommy?

Why?

xx

December 8, 774

Goten came by today.

It was actually really nice.

He made me leave the house, which I'll admit I haven't done in over three weeks now. I was mean to him at first... But after a shower and trying to do my hair pretty like Mom would have, I felt a little better.

Part of me felt guilty for leaving Daddy behind. I know he barely knows what planet he's on... But he's still my Daddy. Even if he doesn't remember my very existence.

Goten was surprisingly responsible for the first part of our day when he took me grocery shopping. "If you and Trunks are anything like me and Gohan are right now...this hasn't been a priority." He was smiling when he said it, but his voice still sounded sad.

We capsulized the groceries and he took me to the mall.

It was strange to be around people again after I'd shut the entire world out for so long. It was nice. I missed people.

And the most shocking part of the day was when...

I laughed.

It was so bizarre. I almost didn't recognize the sound, but sure enough, Goten had made me laugh. We were in the food court. We'd gotten just barely more than an average human would, considering neither of us had really been in the mood to eat for a while.

Wait a minute - when was the last time I ate?

Oh well.

Anyway, he'd gotten burgers and fries while I got corndogs. He managed to stuff four boxes worth of french fries in his mouth! He started laughing and choked, which only made it more funny. I'll admit there was a brief moment I was worried about him... But it passed as soon as he swallowed all the fries in one gulp! Humans were gawking at us and we couldn't stop laughing.

We walked all the way back to my house. I think he knew that I was dreading coming back here. I felt myself getting tense more and more the closer we got to my block and - get this - he grabbed my hand.

I've never been so grateful for another person in my life.

He held my hand, but I think we both knew that at that point he was the only thing still holding me together.

When we got to my door he gave me the capsule with my groceries in it and for a little while we just stood facing each other. Looking back, we were completely quiet the entire walk home. At the time I hadn't even noticed. Anyway, we were just standing there, still quiet, and for some reason (I don't know why) I leaned my head into him, letting my head rest on his chest. I have no idea why I did it. I've never done that to anyone before. But after a few seconds, he hugged me.

I guess.

That's never happened to me before either.

I think I like him.

xx

December 11, 774

I wish I knew what Trunks was doing. I've thought about going to see him a few times. I check on his ki every once in a while, though I'm not that good at keeping up with the time. He's at Capsule Corp. I assume he's locked up in his office.

Wait - what if he's in Mom's office?

Part of me hopes he is. I hate thinking that he's just ignoring Mom's absence. But at the same time, I don't want him to just be wallowing alone and depressed in there...

I hope he's not gone crazy like Daddy.

He's not crazy!

At least, I don't want him to be.

I can't imagine Daddy being crazy. He's too strong.

But then again, weren't we all supposed to have been strong?

Mom was the strongest woman I knew. Daddy and Trunks were the strongest men in my life. Our entire family was centered around our strength, growing and accumulating it in every possible way.

But here we are: tested by fire.

And we have been burned.

Mom is not the only one left to ashes.

xx

December 12, 774

Daddy left the freaking GR.

I thought I was going to faint when I saw him in the hallway. I thought I was imagining things. I was upset when I thought that. I was upset that if I was hallucinating, I saw my dad being normal instead of my mom. But he was really there. I followed him. He was still muttering.

This time though, it all made complete sense.

"Now, I could handle that hideous, purple lizard, even with his girlish, squealing voice. I could take care of planets singlehandedly. But this? This is too great. This is too great. This is too great..."

His words were like sludge, dripping from his mouth like poison seeking out listening ears to infect with his hate.

"How dare that woman betray me?"

I couldn't believe he was actually SAYING that.

He had no right to be angry at Mom! HE was the one who abandoned the family he had left. HE was the one that betrayed HER.

And I told him exactly that.

Then he rose his voice for the first time in a month.

"The worst thing is...you're just like her! A pathetic weakling. You have wasted far too much of my time! Get out of my sight!"

Then he hit me.

My father has never laid a hand on me before.

I felt the tears shock from my eyes.

I didn't respond to him.

I left him.

But he left me first.

xx

December 13, 774

My father left in a spaceship this morning.

I watched it go.

xx

December 14, 774

Mom,

Dad left me yesterday. He took one of your spaceships and just took off. I guess he actually left me a long time ago, though. When you did, actually. Did you know that he hasn't left his GR since you died? He was locked in there for a month. Trunks was no better. I think I actually saw Dad more in the past month than Trunks. Now, that surprised me. It really did. Though I guess this has all been a surprise. You know, it really messed shit up when you left. Yeah, I said shit. And I'm probably gonna say it a lot more now that I have no parents.

Can you see me from where you are? Can you see me writing this to you? Are you like, a spirit over my shoulder reading alongside my pen? For some reason, I doubt it. Knowing you, if you had any idea how your son and husband have been acting, you would find away to come back to life to kick both of their asses.

Dad said some mean stuff to me. And he hit me. Though I would withstand a thousand hits before I would ever want to hear what he said to me ever again. He told me he didn't want me, Mom. How could he be so cruel?

You know he's been muttering? Like a complete psychopath. All he seems to talk about is Frieza and space and Nappa. And well, he's said some mean things about you too. I imagine it wouldn't be the first time he's said something terrible to you, but this... I hope you never actually hear what he's said about you.

I can't help but wonder about where he's gone. Was Frieza really that great? I mean, I'm sure you didn't have to FORCE him to stay here and be with you... But the way he left... He acted like he didn't want me or Trunks. Like we were a mistake. I know that he was a soldier for Frieza, but he never really went into any more detail than that. Does he really miss that? Does he really wish he'd have just stayed in space and never come to Earth? Does he really think that we're that much of a burden? He said that Frieza had been easier to deal with than this. What does that even mean?

Sigh.

I wish you were here.

xx

December 15, 774

I wish I knew how to reprimand your son like you do. Seriously, he's not THAT much older than me and he's trying to run your entire company? I went to visit him today. He's a machine, Mom. He had to have gotten that from you. He's running full steam ahead. He talked to me, but barely. He did hug me though. That meant a lot to me. I haven't been hugged since...

Goten.

Oh Mom, there's something I've forgotten to tell you...

I think I like Goten.

He came over a week ago and took me out of the house, though I'm not really sure whether it was a date or not. But we spent the whole day together. He walked me home and held my hand. When we got to the door, he held me. Oh, I wish you were here to talk to about it! I don't know what to do! This has never happened to me before... How do I even know he likes me back? I mean, I know he held my hand, but he could have just been comforting me. I have no idea. I haven't seen him since, but that's probably because of Chi-Chi. She's dying too, Mom. No one says it, but it's true. Goten and Gohan are just waiting around.

I'm not sure what's worse: sudden death, or watching your loved ones deteriorate before your eyes.

xx

December 18, 774

I'm thinking of going back to school.

I know it's mostly a colossal waste of time, but there's only so much longer I can go alone in this house without cracking like Dad. And trust me Mom, that's the LAST thing I want to do. I just need to be around people again, you know? I'm positive you understand me.

I wish you were here.

xx

December 21, 774

I went to the closest middle school I could find today, only to find out that Christmas break has already started. Of course.

I guess I shouldn't have stalled the last few days, but it might have been for the best. I mean, I would have had to provide some sort of source for previous schooling and probably have my parents or something. And how exactly was I supposed to explain that I was not an orphan, my father was just inexplicably unattainable...in outer space? Yeah. Child services would have gotten called and they would have gotten Trunks too. Then there would be no one around to run the company, and we'd be orphans together which would just be another reason for Trunks to hate me. Are all 16 year old brothers heartless? I'm sure he hates me.

Mom, will you keep a secret for me?

I feel so alone.

xx

December 25, 774

Chi-Chi is dead.

I spent the last few days flying aimlessly around Earth. It was exhilarating, really. I think it was really helping me find a new sort of happiness, you know? But then I found myself at Goten's house. I don't know how I flew there, but I was definitely thinking about him a little too much during my flight...

Anyway, I got there and, well, Chi-Chi's gone.

They were both in their living room, just standing there. Damn! Why does everyone and everything have to be so morbid all the time now?! I mean, who just stands around staring... Okay, sorry, that might be a bit harsh...

Anyway, they were in their living room. I'd always been kinda jealous of how close they were compared to me and Trunks (you know how we fight). It was worse when I saw how they stood near each other despite the emptiness around them. It was almost visible, the way they lent strength to one another. Seventeen year old to fifteen year old and back again and back again and back again. I almost left, not wanting to intrude on their moment. But I wanted to talk to Goten.

But Goten didn't want to talk to me.

Gohan put a hand on my shoulder and kissed my forehead.

I'm honestly not sure why he did that, but it was surprisingly comforting. I was grateful for his empathy (or is it sympathy? I forget) and I honestly probably wouldn't have been strong enough not to cry after Goten dismissed me if it weren't for Gohan.

He's a really good friend.

A good person.

I feel like I don't know many of those anymore.

xx

December 27, 774

Mom, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've developed this habit of flying listlessly and letting my brain go wherever it pleases... And well, I've got an idea.

To be honest, you're probably not going to like this idea...

But it's what I need to do.

I just know it.

Remember how Dad ranted to me about how much better life with Frieza was than this?

Well, I'm going to go find out.

xx

December 31, 774

You only had one time machine built, and it was cleverly hidden, but I AM your daughter. I've been working on to pass the time, mostly adding unnecessary luxuries that probably will go unused, but I needed to keep my mind off things. I did make a few updates on the dial to the past so that I can choose an energy I want to land near instead of having to have direct coordinates. It was tricky, but I'm pleased to let you know that my mind is a gift you gave me to be a part of you for the rest of my life.

I've thought about dying, you know. I've avoided talking to you about it since I knew how you would take that coming from me.

But I've thought about it.

And I decided against choosing my own death.

Someone in this family has to uphold your honor, your pride.

I'm leaving for the past tomorrow.

I'm going to spend New Year's Day in a new year.

I'm not taking you with me, so I'm sorry to say that this is goodbye for now.

I'll talk to you in the stars as soon as I get there.

I love you, Mom.

* * *

**The following chapters won't be in diary format. Think of this as the prologue, or an introduction into the story. Please review!**


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